Wedding season is in full swing, meaning couples are getting married and people are being asked to be in their weddings.

What should be a happy time can often turn stressful due to — you guessed it! — costs. It’s no secret that weddings can be expensive, but what’s often overlooked is how much it can cost to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

A wedding isn’t just a one-day event. When you agree to be in someone’s wedding, you might be expected to go on a bachelor or bachelorette trip, help throw a bridal shower, pay for an outfit, and give multiple gifts. All of this can add up to hundreds or maybe even thousands of dollars. If that’s not feasible for your budget, then consider the following tips.

The first step is to figure out what you can and cannot afford. Could you be a bridesmaid and opt out of the bachelorette trip? Take a look to see if you can make it work.

If you can’t finance everything, here’s how to approach that conversation with your friend.

Be honest and upfront

As soon as possible, decide how you want to proceed and have a conversation — in person or over the phone is ideal. Explain how honored you are to be asked, but being in a wedding is not possible with your budget right now. Tell them you’d still love to come to the wedding (if that works for your budget), and you’ll be there to support them during this exciting time in their lives.

Stand firm in your decision

It’s possible that your friend will try to convince you to be in the wedding. They probably just want you to be part of it, but it’s important to stick with the choice you made. It won’t make it easier on your friendship if you go back and forth. Instead, re-explain why you came to this decision and assure them that you’re still just as excited for their wedding as you were before.

Calculate what you can afford

Now, it’s time to see what you can afford to spend when it comes to the wedding. Can you afford to go? Maybe you can get the couple or your friend a thoughtful gift? Can you still attend the shower?

Take a look at your financial situation to see what you need to plan for financially for the wedding. This will give you clarity and events to look forward to during your friend’s engagement and later wedding.

The bottom line

It takes transparency and sometimes sacrifice when you’re trying to achieve financial goals and build wealth. Consider using Empower’s free financial tools as a resource. These free tools allow you to sync all your financial accounts, so you get a clear picture of where you stand on your progress toward goals like debt payoff, retirement and whatever else is in your financial plan.